it's christmas week!

Best week of the whole entire year. I'm so thrilled! So as the holidays approach I'm reminded that the New year is upon us. So instead of saying I'm going to do stuff I'm really going to do it. Here's the top 5.


1. Finish my baking website and hope for some success.
2. Do everything in my power to finish getting accepted into the honors program.
3. Get in shape to beat my dad-in-law at the mud run! I'm determined!
4. Try to find a way to spend more time with my nieces and nephews
5. welll....I can only think of 4 right now...oh well


Here's some pics of our lives

It Is Almost Christmas Season!!!

Hello Everyone or no one depending on who reads this anymore. Life has been crazy busy but I wanted to update a little on our lives. School is getting hectic and the baking blog I'm starting is taking a lot more out of me then I imagined. Hopefully I'll have it ready this weekend. you never know? So in the past month or so I've been to Utah twice for some reason. I've spent some time in California where my neice was born. She's a doll. And I've spent WAY too much time listening to Christmas music. Well here's some pics of the last month or so..Enjoy!


Matt and Snappers



Matt and I






pumpkin time



me and Lyssie Lu Lu



my california babies



Johanne Rae is HERE!

Lake Powell 09

4 days at lake Powell equals one relaxed girl. It was amazing. Beautiful scenery, wonderful atmosphere and 4 people I love. I tried wake boarding for the first time....it was NOT a success. I failed miserably and to make it worse a 9 year old did it and I was ashamed. I did go on a ski bob and had a blast. Although said 9 year old tired to throw me off 800 times. And I did tie some guy for the MOST fish. TWO. I caught two catfish. So did this annoying guy I was with. He kept rubbing it in. Man Matt makes me mad.

Well I did get to learn a few things about my dad-in-law. First there is such a thing as a "perfect" bagel. It's just too bad that's he's the only one that can make it. But I was lucky and got to eat it. I also learned that there is absolutely no such thing as too clean. I made a comment one day to Matt about how clean the stove was. Two hours later he has it taken apart cleaning who knows what. Oh Chuck...I guess I understand that monk guy a little better now.

I'll leave you with some pics of the wonderful trip!

One more post about Frenchie!

He was the cutest sleeper ever. Although I think I woke Snapper up.



AWWWWW!!!!!1

My Best Kitten EVER: STEVE FRENCH

I loved him so much and my heart is still hurting. Wow this has been a sucky few weeks!

7 years ago....

I'm starting school today. That sounds so weird to say... After the past few weeks I'm glad to have something to do with time instead of dwelling on bad stuff. It got me thinking. It's been 7 years since I've been in school. Where did all the time ago. Back then I was driving around in a beat up chevy truck, working as a life guard, with the world at my fingertips. I thought I knew it all and I definitely thought I would have it made by the time I was 22. HAHAHAHA...I love it.

Well I may not "have it made" in some opinions but I'm pretty lucky. Looking back on it I was a mess. But i did have some great times and had some pretty amazing friends. I just wish I could go back and stay in school so I wouldn't be 25 worrying about it. But at least i'm not 30.

So wish me luck. I hope I do good.

On a complete side note: Steve French died. I'm crushed. I guess we have to have a vigil for him like we did for Taco....

recent stuff.

I just read a quote that made sense. The first thing that has made sense to me in the past 5 days...It says "Now life will be a little less sweet and death a little less bitter." I like that. It completely encompasses what I've been feeling. I'm mostly sad and angry but at times I feel kinda blessed. I feel blessed because a lot of people around me have had much more harsh losses, much more real and raw emmotions that I can't imagine. I don't know if I could if I tried. I just feel stuck. I want to be happy but I'm not. I feel like I failed. I feel like I let my husband down. I just feel guilty. But I don't know why I feel like that. I didn't do anything. I couldn't have done anything differently. I need to just rest in my God and let him take it from here. Which is fine with me. I dont want to do anything anyways. HA!

Enough of that....recent news that isn't sad: I'm going back to school next week. EEEK. Very very nervous. I've completely changed majors and think accounting is not for me. I love it and all but I'm not passionate about it. Not even a bit. So I'll see where God takes me from here.

Well prayers would be great and some sort of closure would be better. We'll see if that happens EVER.

Here's a pic of us before at the game. Good times.

I miss them.

I miss them terribly! I hate this feeling!

pics of kids and fun stuff

California Craziness

Well we're Back. FINALLY! We had a great time! We left Friday morning bright and early and got to spend a few hours at the beach. It was amazing! Then we had a very scrumptous dinner at the old Spaghetti Factory! (thanks Chuck and Kerry!) We woke up early on Saturday to go to the mud run. I didn't beat Kerry but I had so much fun.

Then we drove and drove and drove to Jeb's house had fun and then made the 17 HOUR drive home. 5 people in one car trying to sleep does NOT work I found out. We had cranky kids and cranky drivers. But we made it!

So now my life consists of tea parties and wrestling matches. I wouldn't change it for the world. These kids are so much fun and such a joy to me. Every single laugh makes me smile. And my favorite is when they sing. I could listen to that all day. My favorite is Mantha singing Taylor Swift songs. It's adorable!

I'll add pics SOON!

Busy Busy Busy

OH MY has this been a week!!! and it's only just begun. Well our super sweet "use-to-be- neighbor" moved in with us for the summer. She's a doll. She's 17 and totally helps out with everything. I adore her. Also I went to the Hot Dr. and got some super exciting news. Well at least I thought it was. But today he called and ripped those hopes out from under me. But it's still a good thing so I'm okay with it. Even though it does SUCK!

Tomorrow morning we are heading to the mud run in California. It's a 10k at Camp Penndleton. I did it last year and had a blast. Hopefully I can finish before Kerry this year. Since last year I was DUPED and thrown in the mud. I'm coming for her this year. HAHAHA...

After that were headed to Chico CA to see Jeb and Holly and Samantha and Mason and Keifer and Alyssa and the newest creature that's brewing.(whew) I'm so EXCITED. We're going to bring Mantha and Mase back with us for a couple weeks so that I get my baby time and they get some Aunt Lindsey time. I miss those kids so much it literally hurts sometimes. I can't wait to do crafts, make forts, and let mason pummel me. It should be fun.

So I'm off to pack and make sandwiches. YEAH FOR CALIFORNIA!!!!

well............

Sometimes I get confused...I don't like it. I wish life came with a "how-to manual". I'm sick of figuring things out on my own. It would be so much easier if I had some sort of guide.

I'm a nerd

Okay I write all this doom and gloom and then never follow up letting everyone know what's going on. SO....my grandpa is doing much better. We're making another trip up there next weekend. He seems to be improving and I'm so thankful.
I also went to the dr. and everything is looking GOOD. I was a nervous wreck but it turns out nothing crazy is wrong and I'm going back in two weeks for more testing. YEAH FOR ME!!
We also added another family member. His name is Steve French and I'm in love. He's a playful energy filled kitten. Snapper loves him but Roxy is a little apprehensive about the whole thing. We'll see what happens..hopefully she wont "rusty" him.

Getting flashed and our anniversary.

This may seem weird to blog together about but they both just recently happened.

I'll start with our anniversary. Everyone says the first year is the hardest...HA! That was the most fun, enjoyable and fantastic experience of my life. I can only imagine how amazing the many years to come will be. I'm so blessed.

Okay on to the "flashing". Matt and I were at a gas station yesterday getting gas and Matt peeks his head in the car and says "OH my...I just saw that girls Butt". So I of course turn around and BAM!!, this girl is bent over getting something out of her car and her dress is exposing her bathing suit parts. So she finally stands up and about two minutes later does it again. I was kinda embarrassed for her but then if you're going to wear a dress THAT short what do you expect? Maybe she wants people to see it. I don't know. Either way I will definitely be more careful when I wear dresses.

Girls, my grandpa and my amazing husband.

So my "baby fever" is back in full swing. I had the amazing pleasure of watching my neighbors twins yesterday. They are 8 months old and crawling all over the place. I know I always have said I want multiples but oh man!!! They crawl in different directions, they get upset at different times and they fight with eachother already. It was hilarious! I was definitely wiped out after watching them but it was fun to play with babies all day. It was a somewhat sad reminder that it might not be my fate to have kids and I was kinda depressed. I began to feel sorry for myself that I might never hold my "own" baby. And I felt sorry for Matt that because of me he may never be able to do the same. I still hold on to the hope that I will be in that 12% and I'll be able to. But it's a tough pill to swallow. I sometimes feel God made a mistake since I love children so much and that Matt does as well. But I know his plan is bigger than my wants. But it's hard not to get mad that all these unwed teenagers are having babies or all these families that don't care about kids and even worse all the women that have abortions. I feel like it's not fair. But I guess I need to let that issue go and see what happens. I mean Between Matt and I we have 8 neices and nephews and tons of other kids that flock to us on a daily basis. It's just hard sometimes...


On a better note.. I get to be married to the most wonderful amazing talented and charming person on the planet. That might sound stupid but it's so true. During all my clingy, sad, ugly moments he looks me right in the eyes and tells me how much he loves me. Even when I feel like I don't love myself he's there to tell me I'm pretty and make me laugh. Wow that sounds like I'm crazy..ha ha...but we all know girls are emmotional and I am no exception. I am completely blessed beyond anything I could imagine.


Well today we're leaving to go see my grandpa for what could be the last time. He's not getting any better and talks about wanting to go be with his mom and dad. He's led a great life and I'm proud he's my grandpa. I just wish he didn't have to go. It's kinda selfish but I want him with me. It's a reminder that our time here is short and that there IS a better life waiting for us. I hope he'll still be able to see us when he's gone. I wish my nieces and nephews were old enough to really appreciate how amazing he is. But I'm sure they will hear all the stories and see all the pictures.


So to end this and go get packed I'll leave you with my favorite verse:


Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God
and have been called according to his purpose.

I think I need to keep that in mind more often.

if we had kids...

i guess they'll look like this. That's what the website said. Special thanks to Tara for showing me. My life is now complete!

My LOVE

My Montage 3/21/09

Nor Cal Bound

In less than 24 hours I will be on a plane to see 4 little pieces of my heart. I haven't seen Mantha since August and the younger three since last January. I miss them all so much it hurts. So I get to spend 4 days getting hugs and hearing them say "I lubba you aunt ninny" (since they can't say Lindsey)! My world was turned upside down July 29th 2002 the day Mantha was born. I could never imagine loving somone so much. And when mason was on the way I thought I could never love him as much as mantha. But the very second I saw him I was smitten. He was a piece of me and I just wanted to kiss him to death. So by the time Kiefer was coming I thought okay I'm gonna love him a lot. little did I know my heart would now be divided into three chunks for all of them. And now it's split in quarters with my Little Lyssie girl here. She's such a beautiful baby just like her sister. I am so lucky to have these babies in my life. They have really shown me the purity in this world and for that I'm eternally grateful to all of them.

birthdays, bathrooms, and amazing girls

It has been brought to my attention (thanks Mike) that I haven't blogged in awhile. That could either be because I'm so busy with my super cool life or because I'm pretty boring and not much has happened.

The unthinkable happened to me last month. I became an official ''grown up". I turned 25 which I have been dreading. It's not all that bad except Matt now points out crows feet and grey hair that I do NOT have. My birthday was AMAZING. My dearest friend Tara sent me a package that I still cry talking about. She gave me the coolest book by my role model Kate Gosselin and some bath and body type stuff. It was an incredibly sweet gesture but she had no idea how amazing it was. The scent was one that my grandma wore before she passed away. I tried finding it for years but to no success. So that was amazing. And she also sent me a journal with the most heart felt note I have ever read inside it. I was so touched.

So after Matt re-did our little bathroom we have taken it upon ourselves to rip up the flooring almost through out the whole house and tile. (well we're putting wood floors in some places.) The only thing that bothers Matt is that i would rather play than work. So when Saturday morning at 6 comes along and he wakes me up to do it I whine about wanting to play cards or read outside. I'm pretty sure he is going to kick me in the teeth if I don't do it soon.

Oh and I wanted to share an amazing video with everyone. It's about about a girl that is the strongest person I've never met. Her name is Tara and she married one of my closest friends from 5th grade Preston. He was tragically killed in a car accident back in September. They had an 18 month old son and she was ten weeks pregnant. She has shown me what being strong and having faith is all about. I truly believe god is refining me to be a better person every time I read her blog. I can't begin to imagine what she must go through on a regular basis. So I thought it would be amazing if everyone could see how strong she is. Her blog is Taranewby.blogspot.com. This video is more of a life insurance thing but her strength just penetrates through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NipiSOT0kAk

FUN Valentines weekend

Although I say it a lot... this weekend was awesome. So on Thursday we went out to dinner with Matt's parents for his birthday. Great food and good times. And Tyler made me the COOLEST artwork. IT's this gian leaf made out of clay that is glazed. It's absolutely beautiful and looks so nice in our living room. Then Friday we started re-tiling the bathroom. I say we like I had something to do with it. HA HA...It turned out great. WE spent valentines cleaning and re decorating. It was great. And Sunday I FINALLY watched Toy Story. Great movie. I'm mad I didn't watch it earlier. So another busy week is upon me. But I'm so excited that in less than a month I'm going to NO CAL to see my most favorite people..My bro my sis and my lovely babies. I have missed them so much that there are not words to describe it. I can't wait to have those kids in my arms.