My Best Kitten EVER: STEVE FRENCH

I loved him so much and my heart is still hurting. Wow this has been a sucky few weeks!

7 years ago....

I'm starting school today. That sounds so weird to say... After the past few weeks I'm glad to have something to do with time instead of dwelling on bad stuff. It got me thinking. It's been 7 years since I've been in school. Where did all the time ago. Back then I was driving around in a beat up chevy truck, working as a life guard, with the world at my fingertips. I thought I knew it all and I definitely thought I would have it made by the time I was 22. HAHAHAHA...I love it.

Well I may not "have it made" in some opinions but I'm pretty lucky. Looking back on it I was a mess. But i did have some great times and had some pretty amazing friends. I just wish I could go back and stay in school so I wouldn't be 25 worrying about it. But at least i'm not 30.

So wish me luck. I hope I do good.

On a complete side note: Steve French died. I'm crushed. I guess we have to have a vigil for him like we did for Taco....

recent stuff.

I just read a quote that made sense. The first thing that has made sense to me in the past 5 days...It says "Now life will be a little less sweet and death a little less bitter." I like that. It completely encompasses what I've been feeling. I'm mostly sad and angry but at times I feel kinda blessed. I feel blessed because a lot of people around me have had much more harsh losses, much more real and raw emmotions that I can't imagine. I don't know if I could if I tried. I just feel stuck. I want to be happy but I'm not. I feel like I failed. I feel like I let my husband down. I just feel guilty. But I don't know why I feel like that. I didn't do anything. I couldn't have done anything differently. I need to just rest in my God and let him take it from here. Which is fine with me. I dont want to do anything anyways. HA!

Enough of that....recent news that isn't sad: I'm going back to school next week. EEEK. Very very nervous. I've completely changed majors and think accounting is not for me. I love it and all but I'm not passionate about it. Not even a bit. So I'll see where God takes me from here.

Well prayers would be great and some sort of closure would be better. We'll see if that happens EVER.

Here's a pic of us before at the game. Good times.

I miss them.

I miss them terribly! I hate this feeling!

pics of kids and fun stuff

California Craziness

Well we're Back. FINALLY! We had a great time! We left Friday morning bright and early and got to spend a few hours at the beach. It was amazing! Then we had a very scrumptous dinner at the old Spaghetti Factory! (thanks Chuck and Kerry!) We woke up early on Saturday to go to the mud run. I didn't beat Kerry but I had so much fun.

Then we drove and drove and drove to Jeb's house had fun and then made the 17 HOUR drive home. 5 people in one car trying to sleep does NOT work I found out. We had cranky kids and cranky drivers. But we made it!

So now my life consists of tea parties and wrestling matches. I wouldn't change it for the world. These kids are so much fun and such a joy to me. Every single laugh makes me smile. And my favorite is when they sing. I could listen to that all day. My favorite is Mantha singing Taylor Swift songs. It's adorable!

I'll add pics SOON!

Busy Busy Busy

OH MY has this been a week!!! and it's only just begun. Well our super sweet "use-to-be- neighbor" moved in with us for the summer. She's a doll. She's 17 and totally helps out with everything. I adore her. Also I went to the Hot Dr. and got some super exciting news. Well at least I thought it was. But today he called and ripped those hopes out from under me. But it's still a good thing so I'm okay with it. Even though it does SUCK!

Tomorrow morning we are heading to the mud run in California. It's a 10k at Camp Penndleton. I did it last year and had a blast. Hopefully I can finish before Kerry this year. Since last year I was DUPED and thrown in the mud. I'm coming for her this year. HAHAHA...

After that were headed to Chico CA to see Jeb and Holly and Samantha and Mason and Keifer and Alyssa and the newest creature that's brewing.(whew) I'm so EXCITED. We're going to bring Mantha and Mase back with us for a couple weeks so that I get my baby time and they get some Aunt Lindsey time. I miss those kids so much it literally hurts sometimes. I can't wait to do crafts, make forts, and let mason pummel me. It should be fun.

So I'm off to pack and make sandwiches. YEAH FOR CALIFORNIA!!!!