Girls, my grandpa and my amazing husband.

So my "baby fever" is back in full swing. I had the amazing pleasure of watching my neighbors twins yesterday. They are 8 months old and crawling all over the place. I know I always have said I want multiples but oh man!!! They crawl in different directions, they get upset at different times and they fight with eachother already. It was hilarious! I was definitely wiped out after watching them but it was fun to play with babies all day. It was a somewhat sad reminder that it might not be my fate to have kids and I was kinda depressed. I began to feel sorry for myself that I might never hold my "own" baby. And I felt sorry for Matt that because of me he may never be able to do the same. I still hold on to the hope that I will be in that 12% and I'll be able to. But it's a tough pill to swallow. I sometimes feel God made a mistake since I love children so much and that Matt does as well. But I know his plan is bigger than my wants. But it's hard not to get mad that all these unwed teenagers are having babies or all these families that don't care about kids and even worse all the women that have abortions. I feel like it's not fair. But I guess I need to let that issue go and see what happens. I mean Between Matt and I we have 8 neices and nephews and tons of other kids that flock to us on a daily basis. It's just hard sometimes...


On a better note.. I get to be married to the most wonderful amazing talented and charming person on the planet. That might sound stupid but it's so true. During all my clingy, sad, ugly moments he looks me right in the eyes and tells me how much he loves me. Even when I feel like I don't love myself he's there to tell me I'm pretty and make me laugh. Wow that sounds like I'm crazy..ha ha...but we all know girls are emmotional and I am no exception. I am completely blessed beyond anything I could imagine.


Well today we're leaving to go see my grandpa for what could be the last time. He's not getting any better and talks about wanting to go be with his mom and dad. He's led a great life and I'm proud he's my grandpa. I just wish he didn't have to go. It's kinda selfish but I want him with me. It's a reminder that our time here is short and that there IS a better life waiting for us. I hope he'll still be able to see us when he's gone. I wish my nieces and nephews were old enough to really appreciate how amazing he is. But I'm sure they will hear all the stories and see all the pictures.


So to end this and go get packed I'll leave you with my favorite verse:


Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God
and have been called according to his purpose.

I think I need to keep that in mind more often.

if we had kids...

i guess they'll look like this. That's what the website said. Special thanks to Tara for showing me. My life is now complete!

My LOVE

My Montage 3/21/09

Nor Cal Bound

In less than 24 hours I will be on a plane to see 4 little pieces of my heart. I haven't seen Mantha since August and the younger three since last January. I miss them all so much it hurts. So I get to spend 4 days getting hugs and hearing them say "I lubba you aunt ninny" (since they can't say Lindsey)! My world was turned upside down July 29th 2002 the day Mantha was born. I could never imagine loving somone so much. And when mason was on the way I thought I could never love him as much as mantha. But the very second I saw him I was smitten. He was a piece of me and I just wanted to kiss him to death. So by the time Kiefer was coming I thought okay I'm gonna love him a lot. little did I know my heart would now be divided into three chunks for all of them. And now it's split in quarters with my Little Lyssie girl here. She's such a beautiful baby just like her sister. I am so lucky to have these babies in my life. They have really shown me the purity in this world and for that I'm eternally grateful to all of them.

birthdays, bathrooms, and amazing girls

It has been brought to my attention (thanks Mike) that I haven't blogged in awhile. That could either be because I'm so busy with my super cool life or because I'm pretty boring and not much has happened.

The unthinkable happened to me last month. I became an official ''grown up". I turned 25 which I have been dreading. It's not all that bad except Matt now points out crows feet and grey hair that I do NOT have. My birthday was AMAZING. My dearest friend Tara sent me a package that I still cry talking about. She gave me the coolest book by my role model Kate Gosselin and some bath and body type stuff. It was an incredibly sweet gesture but she had no idea how amazing it was. The scent was one that my grandma wore before she passed away. I tried finding it for years but to no success. So that was amazing. And she also sent me a journal with the most heart felt note I have ever read inside it. I was so touched.

So after Matt re-did our little bathroom we have taken it upon ourselves to rip up the flooring almost through out the whole house and tile. (well we're putting wood floors in some places.) The only thing that bothers Matt is that i would rather play than work. So when Saturday morning at 6 comes along and he wakes me up to do it I whine about wanting to play cards or read outside. I'm pretty sure he is going to kick me in the teeth if I don't do it soon.

Oh and I wanted to share an amazing video with everyone. It's about about a girl that is the strongest person I've never met. Her name is Tara and she married one of my closest friends from 5th grade Preston. He was tragically killed in a car accident back in September. They had an 18 month old son and she was ten weeks pregnant. She has shown me what being strong and having faith is all about. I truly believe god is refining me to be a better person every time I read her blog. I can't begin to imagine what she must go through on a regular basis. So I thought it would be amazing if everyone could see how strong she is. Her blog is Taranewby.blogspot.com. This video is more of a life insurance thing but her strength just penetrates through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NipiSOT0kAk

FUN Valentines weekend

Although I say it a lot... this weekend was awesome. So on Thursday we went out to dinner with Matt's parents for his birthday. Great food and good times. And Tyler made me the COOLEST artwork. IT's this gian leaf made out of clay that is glazed. It's absolutely beautiful and looks so nice in our living room. Then Friday we started re-tiling the bathroom. I say we like I had something to do with it. HA HA...It turned out great. WE spent valentines cleaning and re decorating. It was great. And Sunday I FINALLY watched Toy Story. Great movie. I'm mad I didn't watch it earlier. So another busy week is upon me. But I'm so excited that in less than a month I'm going to NO CAL to see my most favorite people..My bro my sis and my lovely babies. I have missed them so much that there are not words to describe it. I can't wait to have those kids in my arms.

Randomness I deal with at work...

Well in case you didn't know my office is in South central phoenix. It's on a 3 acre lot that is also inhabited by quite a few elderly guatemalans, random dogs, at least 50 chickens and roosters, cats, horses and us 3 office workers. The owner is from guatemala and his family all lives on the property. It makes for some amazing food and ridiculous circumstances. This morning I was outside on the phone when a noticed one of the roosters had twine completely wrapped around both legs. The poor thing couldn't move. So me being the animal lover that I am spent 20 minutes trying to catch the little guy but to no avail. SO I recruited the boys in the office to help. Well 30 minutes and several scratches later we got him. Then in took 15 minutes to cut off all the twine. I never once in my life thought that is how I would spen a Wednesday morning at work. There is never a dull moment around here. I'm not sure if I love it or hate it.