update

So today I was putting up all the christmas ornaments and thinking back on the past 5 years or so. It's so weird to think what my life was like back then. I know most of you know that I was not doing well for quite a few years there. Two Christmas's ago I didn't know where I was going to sleep day to day and I didnt' know how anyone could be happy. My life had spiraled into such craziness that I didn't think I could EVER EVER be happy or even "normal". Well around the time I was going to just give up I met my now husband. Ever since that day I have had a since of purpose and fufillment. I wouln't change it for the world. God used Matt to make me see the good in the world and that happiness was achievable. I never imagined that I would have a respectable job that I could be proud of and be excited to go to every morning. I never thought that when I would come home every afternoon that I could have someone AMAZING waiting for me. I never in my wildest dreams thought God could forgive me for everything I had done. Well all of those things happened and more. I KNOW now that I have a purpose here on this earth and I KNOW that through Him ANYTHING is possible. I am so very thankful for the joy God has brought me through Matt. I have absolutely incredible in-laws that make me understnad what a family is suppose to be like. ANd I FINALLY have a relationship with my immediate family that I cherish so much. My parents and I are reconciling all the differences we have and I could not appreciate that more.

I just Love everyday and I can't believe how much has changed for me in the past two years. And to everyone that said I could NEVER amount to anything I finally have the satisfaction knowing that I proved them wrong. What a wonderful feeling.

Update on the quitting smoking.

So on November 1st I decided to quit smoking in the hopes of starting to try to pregnant in the coming months. I figured I should quit now and not have that hanging over my head. Well I stopped for near a month and then got a crazy idea I could just smoke ONE. Just one little cigarette couldn't hurt right?? WRONG!!! After the first one then it was just one more and then only after I ate and then just not at work. Well now it's back to full flegde smoking. I am SOOOO disappointed in myself. I really thought I could do it and not look back. I even took Chantix and wore a patch. So again I'm going to quit smoking on the 29th. I have no idea how to go about it this time. ANy advice from some ex smokers would be appreciated.

GIngerbread houses!!!

So I totally won at gingerbread house making even though mine is not yet finished. Matt had to forfeit the entire contest because his house pretty much BLEW!!!! Look for yourself and you'll agree.

PAYROLL FRIDAY!!

Well It's Friday and normally I would be ecstatic! (Especially with it being Christmas time and all) BUT....it's payroll Friday first of all which makes me rip my hair out for three hours when I have 70 construction workers bitching about missing hours (which they NEVER are). Then when I got to work this morning I was informed that we're having a company christmas party. So I spent all day renting chairs and tables, buying soda (8-12 Packs), buying beer (8-24 packs), and 30 yes that's right THIRTY pizzas. It went surprisingly well and I'm happy to say I survived it. SO now it's off to the store to buy ingredients for gingerbread people, gingerbread houses and monkey munch. My nephew Tyler is coming over and I can't wait to do all my Holiday baking with him. And then tomorrow we're headed up to the Scotty to look at Christmas Lights. Gosh I love my life. (Even if it is hectic most of the time!!!!)

Snowball Cookies.

I had no idea what a baker I was. I made eggnog cookies, Cranberry bars and my favorite... Snowball cookies. They ROCK! I love this time of year. Christmas music, christmas cookies and Christmas cheer. What could be better??

Christmas at Moratayas

Well since I'm the only girl at my work and NO ONE appreciates Christmas time, I've taken it upon myself to bring some Holiday Cheer to the office. I had limited supplies so it is somewhat ghetto but I LOVE it. I made a christmas tree out of candy canes by my desk. I got a twig for a tree and put up blinking lights around or schedule. I'm not sure my boss likes my festive nature but oh well. I did him a favor and turned down my "LOUD JINGLE BELL CRAP".

christmas fun...

So Matt and I set up the tree yesterday. It's obnoxiously decorated just the way we like it. I had a blast making all the ornaments. I just wish I would have made more. I'll post pics when I download them. On a side note...I realized i'm out of touch with what little kids like these days. I tried shopping for my SEVEN nieces and nephews and have NO clue what to get them all. So any suggestions would be appreciated.